When two of you are booking the evening together

Both of you, in writing, first

This is the one rule that never bends. Iris wants a message from each of you, or one message that both of you have plainly written, before a name is suggested. It is not a formality and it is not about paperwork. A booking that one half of a couple has agreed to and the other has been presented with is an evening that goes wrong for everybody, including the companion.

Once that is settled the arrangement is ordinary: a date, an hour, a length, an address, and a reply naming somebody with a reason attached.

What is being arranged, stated plainly

Company for a set number of hours, for two adults instead of one. Dinner at a table for three, a film and a long evening in, a drink somewhere quiet and conversation that includes everybody. Nothing beyond time and companionship is offered here, implied here or available on request, and that is as true of this page as of every other one on this site.

Anybody writing in hoping otherwise will get a short and perfectly polite answer from Iris saying so, and that will be the end of the correspondence.

Getting the evening right

Say who is easier with strangers and who is not. A companion who reads a table well will steer the first half hour towards whichever of you needs it, and she cannot do that if she walks in knowing nothing. Say whether you want somebody talkative or somebody restful, and say it honestly rather than aspirationally.

Say also what you would like her to do if the evening is clearly not working. The good answer, and the one most couples choose, is that she says so lightly and the booking simply ends early with nothing further owed.

Where couples take these

Twickenham does it well because Church Street has small rooms and close tables and the river is five minutes away, so an evening has somewhere to start. Isleworth is quieter still, with a pub on the corner where the road meets the tide and almost nobody about on a weeknight.

An evening at home is just as common and often easier. A private address is checked once, by street and door number, and then treated exactly as a hotel room would be.

A hotel has one advantage for a first time: it belongs to nobody at the table. Several couples book the first one that way on purpose and move it home afterwards once they know how the evening feels.

The first half hour

It is always slightly formal and it is meant to be. Three people who have not met are working out where to put their attention, and the companions who take these bookings are good at giving it to both of you rather than settling on whichever one is talking.

By the second drink it has usually gone. The evening stops being an arrangement and starts being a dinner, which is the whole point of having planned it properly beforehand instead of deciding on the night.

Length and fees

One figure, not two. A couple booking one companion for two hours pays £500, the same as anybody else would. Four hours is £900 and an overnight is £1,800. Nothing on this page carries a premium for there being two of you at the table.

Two hours is usually too short for this booking, because the first half hour is spent by three people getting comfortable with each other. Four hours is the one Iris suggests when a couple asks her to choose, and three hours at £700 is the sensible compromise on a weeknight when nobody wants to be out until midnight.

Five who take these bookings

Laura is cheerful without performing it and asks everyone at a table real questions. Vanessa takes six o'clock starts in TW7 and is easy across a long dinner. Rosa does afternoons into evenings by the river in Twickenham, Sundays especially. Lea teases early and is generous once she has decided about you, which works well with two guests. Thea is the least ceremonious company on the list. All of them are on On The Route.